Earn a Second Look
Mens Health, June 2004
Be irresistible. If you want to make a good first impression
on that woman over there, youre too late. Its done. As soon
as she lays eyes on someone, she has a first impression, says Frank Bernieri,
Ph.D., a social psychologist at Oregon State University. Its what happens
next that counts.
Be ready to fetch. An animated person is like a tail-wagging
dog. And shed rather play with an eager pup than with a sleeping hound.
People who are expressive as opposed to poker-faced, are considered attractive
, says Bernieri. They might gesture or posture, or have faces that
are easy to read, which makes her more secure in their presence. We know where
we stand. Think Will Ferrell, not Colin Farrell.
Ask her about herself. Were our own favorite
subject, says HurryDate.com CEO Ken Deckinger, so if we spend the
whole time talking about ourselves, well remember it as a great experience.
Make her feel good and steer the conversation toward her intereststhats
what he advises the men who sign up for his speed-dating service. The longer she
talks, the more she likes you. Bonus points for remembering what she said.
Get physical. Make eye contact and lean forward. Youre
interested in what shes saying. Women find an attentive man attractive,
Deckinger reports. Getting her attention is as simple as giving her yoursand
your body language does that.
Yeah, yeah, youre really smart. Now shut up. Men
tend to hold forth on topics they know a lot about, says Ann Demarais, Ph.D.,
coauthor of First Impressions: What You Dont Know about How Others See You.
Women call this male-pattern lecturing, and it bores the hell out of them. Resist
the urge. Instead, intrigue her with a line like, Next time Ill have
to show you pictures from my trip to Peru.
Play the name game. We respond to our name more than to any
other word. Hearing her name stimulates the right side of her brain, which means
shes paying attention to you. Drop her name into the conversation a couple
of times. (Cindy, tell me more about your gymnastics class.) Use it
too much and youll sound like a used-car salesman. Do it just right and
shell find you irresistibly charmingand youll be able to sell
her on anything.
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